Okay in this time of 'women's equal rights' and all that we all know of the 'real' womens social agenda trying to change the world so it will bend to their will. Well I have no part in that and the Lgbt community has their agenda trying to change the world so it will be okay for same sex couples all over. Okay I admit I do understand that one but I'm misunderstood myself and many others like me in the gay, lesbian, and transgender community. I mean you got those who say I want a 'manly' man, a real woman, and those who want to make the physical changes to their bodies in order to 'fit in'. Yes the gay and lesbian community is broken down into many subcultures with all of them fighting to be 'the culture' that it's all so confusing. And yes it can be. I stayed confused and insular for years afraid to admit who and what I was. Then I met someone, fell in love, and tried to keep the 'secret' even then.lol I mean, here I was living with a man, being seen around town in ultimate feminine wear, and hugging and kissing on him and I hoped to keep it secret. well I can still keep it somewhat secret online but really fuck it! The only one I haven't come clean to is my mother, and I probably never will. That's why I don't cast any judgement on the down low element in our community.
Well now I'm much older and things past and present have come together to let me draw one final conclusion; I'm a woman. Yes I'm aware of how that sounds But I know how I feel, how I've felt for so long. My husband brought it out in me. You see, I'm not going to brag, for nothing good comes of bragging, but I will say I'm glad to call him my husband. I get love and affection I've rarely if ever got from anyone in years, and also understanding. We live in a world, especially in the African American segment, where people want to be understood for THEMSELVES but don't care to understand the next person! But they want love, appreciation, understanding, and empathy BUT DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT TO NOBODY ELSE! This is why my pool of friends is very very small, especially with other blacks! And this is why so many kill one another. Coz in most instances of black on black murders supposedly the two were friends or associates! Or boyfriend and girlfriend. And in the case of gay blacks they were lovers! A one sided affair is not a relationship and is an association with no love period! Coz two people have to love one another to call it a relationship, not one loving the other and the other not caring. That's what you find in a lot of Black straight and gay relationships. I have no use for fakirs or people with mental problems and so I don't allow them into my inner circle. If one slips through once I find out what they're about they are gone. You must be real not in that stupide street way, but 'for real' as in honest and genuine about who and what they are as people! And willing to change rather than justify their ignorant and roguish ways! And also when you find someone willing to work with you and who you can love and they love you back I think you need to cling to them. My husband used to ask me who I was, and I would look him right in the eye and tell him I am your girl! And he would kiss me coz' there was no doubt in my mind who and what I was in this relationship. I am his woman. What I call a faux woman. I'm not female physically and no I don't want to get that operation (though admittedly I thought about it for many many years) so called real women have such a problem with the role God created for them in this life. They think it's an affront to their dignity to cook clean take care of their kids or to conform to any womanly duties. I find that especially amongst Black women. Now there is a reason for that and that's because Black men have failed them on many fronts. We won't get into politics but there are too many scumbag black leaders out there. And then too Black men as a group have suffered long and hard under the yoke of an oppressive system.but our Black leaders haven't helped matters at all. Especially these bastards who constantly wanna promote the gospel of the streets! Ghettofabolos and all that bullshit. But even with this as usual black women have gone above and beyond what's reasonable and a lot of other women are following suit. Don't get me wrong women should be treated fairly, but they should be proud of the very very important relationship they play in a relationship and a family.
Women play an important role in keeping the household grounded and stable. Like my home I love getting up in the morning and making my husband's coffee or sometimes a light breakfast for him. I love keeping our apartment neat and clean, tending to his clothes, and cooking his dinner. Everyday I take him his lunch. No I don't fix it but I go to his special place to pick it up for him. On more personal sides I love it when he takes control and sometimes even when he flogs me. That's personal stuff and into sex again.lol But he loves my skirts and dresses and nightgowns and I get to model it for him. Now don't get me wrong, our relationship isn't perfect! but if you want perfection in this life you need to wait til Jesus comes back. And yes I know I got some explaining to do.
But in my heart I am a woman coz' I do love my man and am proud to be his wife..
Well now I'm much older and things past and present have come together to let me draw one final conclusion; I'm a woman. Yes I'm aware of how that sounds But I know how I feel, how I've felt for so long. My husband brought it out in me. You see, I'm not going to brag, for nothing good comes of bragging, but I will say I'm glad to call him my husband. I get love and affection I've rarely if ever got from anyone in years, and also understanding. We live in a world, especially in the African American segment, where people want to be understood for THEMSELVES but don't care to understand the next person! But they want love, appreciation, understanding, and empathy BUT DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT TO NOBODY ELSE! This is why my pool of friends is very very small, especially with other blacks! And this is why so many kill one another. Coz in most instances of black on black murders supposedly the two were friends or associates! Or boyfriend and girlfriend. And in the case of gay blacks they were lovers! A one sided affair is not a relationship and is an association with no love period! Coz two people have to love one another to call it a relationship, not one loving the other and the other not caring. That's what you find in a lot of Black straight and gay relationships. I have no use for fakirs or people with mental problems and so I don't allow them into my inner circle. If one slips through once I find out what they're about they are gone. You must be real not in that stupide street way, but 'for real' as in honest and genuine about who and what they are as people! And willing to change rather than justify their ignorant and roguish ways! And also when you find someone willing to work with you and who you can love and they love you back I think you need to cling to them. My husband used to ask me who I was, and I would look him right in the eye and tell him I am your girl! And he would kiss me coz' there was no doubt in my mind who and what I was in this relationship. I am his woman. What I call a faux woman. I'm not female physically and no I don't want to get that operation (though admittedly I thought about it for many many years) so called real women have such a problem with the role God created for them in this life. They think it's an affront to their dignity to cook clean take care of their kids or to conform to any womanly duties. I find that especially amongst Black women. Now there is a reason for that and that's because Black men have failed them on many fronts. We won't get into politics but there are too many scumbag black leaders out there. And then too Black men as a group have suffered long and hard under the yoke of an oppressive system.but our Black leaders haven't helped matters at all. Especially these bastards who constantly wanna promote the gospel of the streets! Ghettofabolos and all that bullshit. But even with this as usual black women have gone above and beyond what's reasonable and a lot of other women are following suit. Don't get me wrong women should be treated fairly, but they should be proud of the very very important relationship they play in a relationship and a family.
Women play an important role in keeping the household grounded and stable. Like my home I love getting up in the morning and making my husband's coffee or sometimes a light breakfast for him. I love keeping our apartment neat and clean, tending to his clothes, and cooking his dinner. Everyday I take him his lunch. No I don't fix it but I go to his special place to pick it up for him. On more personal sides I love it when he takes control and sometimes even when he flogs me. That's personal stuff and into sex again.lol But he loves my skirts and dresses and nightgowns and I get to model it for him. Now don't get me wrong, our relationship isn't perfect! but if you want perfection in this life you need to wait til Jesus comes back. And yes I know I got some explaining to do.
But in my heart I am a woman coz' I do love my man and am proud to be his wife..
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