Now I think all of you who read my little series know my story. I never truly identified myself as gay but bisexual. Now I avoided the gay word for years for religious and other reasons. I've always been a rather 'aggressive' sort, well, I had to be. The environment I was in would eat you alive if they detected any 'softness'. So I had to come out swinging everyday I got up. I never completely lost myself though, and that's probably why I was never really a success with women.
It just seems odd to me that women caterwaul about there are no 'good' men around, yet it would seem to me that a good man is the LAST thing they really want. I tried to treat women sensitively, with compassion, and understanding. I think you can guess where that got me. While every jerk I ever knew they all had one thing in common; they had plenty of girlfriends. Some of them even were the first to offer their sexual services to me. But I couldn't keep a girl hardly to save my life.
I am not too ashamed to admit that I pooped out in the dating game with women. Oh no, it wasn't that I was hiding my 'true self' I wanted to be with women. I got into adult acting because I wanted to meet plenty of women I could fuck, rather than playing their stupid games in the street and then at the end of the date not getting nothing, or finding out that the one who's supposed to be MY girlfriend was actually seeing somebody else and using me.That happened a lot. Especially with black women. One girlfriend after the next turned out to either be somebody else's girl or came with that bullshit about 'loving me' but not being 'in love with me'. Or if it was somebody who honestly loved me, I didn't really want them. Now those I'm sorry about. But it's just one of the weird things about life; the ones you want don't want you and the ones who want you you just honestly don't want them. That just says something about our human condition.
And no I'm not gay because I felt I was done wrong by women, or at least that's a very small part of it, but because I ran into somebody who loved me, I liked them, and they happened to be of the same sex. It actually took me a while to get over my reservations, but I finally decided to take a chance on happiness. I hadn't been happy in so long, and now I'm ecstatic. It's good to love somebody and that somebody loves you back. Rmember that song by Teddy Pendergrass?
I remember when I was in college I was crazy about a girl named Shirley. I pined for her for years but to no avail. But evidently I wasn't the only one coz' two dudes got to fighting over her and one of them killed the other. That's why when two dudes got to fighting over me some years ago, I sat them both down and told them I would stop dating both of them if they didn't stop fighting. I wasn't going to have any of that.
I have to admit though I started to get a bit disillusioned with women coz' treating them good didn't seem to help secure a relationship and I didn't want to treat them badly. My last girlfriend named Angie walked away from me years ago and told me I was a loser. Now she had five kids by five different men but I was the loser? Really? I never understood that one.
Eitherway, I'm happy now and hope they are all doing well. Now I don't ever want to see them again!lol But I do hope they are doing well.
It just seems odd to me that women caterwaul about there are no 'good' men around, yet it would seem to me that a good man is the LAST thing they really want. I tried to treat women sensitively, with compassion, and understanding. I think you can guess where that got me. While every jerk I ever knew they all had one thing in common; they had plenty of girlfriends. Some of them even were the first to offer their sexual services to me. But I couldn't keep a girl hardly to save my life.
I am not too ashamed to admit that I pooped out in the dating game with women. Oh no, it wasn't that I was hiding my 'true self' I wanted to be with women. I got into adult acting because I wanted to meet plenty of women I could fuck, rather than playing their stupid games in the street and then at the end of the date not getting nothing, or finding out that the one who's supposed to be MY girlfriend was actually seeing somebody else and using me.That happened a lot. Especially with black women. One girlfriend after the next turned out to either be somebody else's girl or came with that bullshit about 'loving me' but not being 'in love with me'. Or if it was somebody who honestly loved me, I didn't really want them. Now those I'm sorry about. But it's just one of the weird things about life; the ones you want don't want you and the ones who want you you just honestly don't want them. That just says something about our human condition.
And no I'm not gay because I felt I was done wrong by women, or at least that's a very small part of it, but because I ran into somebody who loved me, I liked them, and they happened to be of the same sex. It actually took me a while to get over my reservations, but I finally decided to take a chance on happiness. I hadn't been happy in so long, and now I'm ecstatic. It's good to love somebody and that somebody loves you back. Rmember that song by Teddy Pendergrass?
I remember when I was in college I was crazy about a girl named Shirley. I pined for her for years but to no avail. But evidently I wasn't the only one coz' two dudes got to fighting over her and one of them killed the other. That's why when two dudes got to fighting over me some years ago, I sat them both down and told them I would stop dating both of them if they didn't stop fighting. I wasn't going to have any of that.
I have to admit though I started to get a bit disillusioned with women coz' treating them good didn't seem to help secure a relationship and I didn't want to treat them badly. My last girlfriend named Angie walked away from me years ago and told me I was a loser. Now she had five kids by five different men but I was the loser? Really? I never understood that one.
Eitherway, I'm happy now and hope they are all doing well. Now I don't ever want to see them again!lol But I do hope they are doing well.
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